Monday, May 23, 2016

Merapu di malam hari

안영 😍
In the middle of night, i just want to write something.

Mane boleh bg tau kan...thats all that something.
Nk upload gmbr smlm kite jenjalan di tasik putrajaya dengan cruise
Ade la pengalaman sekurng nye...hehe
Harge not bad
G dengan anak buah yg super hype
Memula diorg bkn main takot lg...dh lme2 segala bende diorg panjat dlm cruise tu
X takot ape dh...hehe
So, ain lepas nie x yah la ko berangan sgt nk naik cruise kt tasik putrajaya tu...kehekeh...xd mende pon...baik naik cruise trip 3hari 2 mlm ke...bru best...
How about that??
Is it wrong for me to enjoy everything that can feel the enjoyment right now, single....dont have someone around. But friends is someone that should be around.
I think there is no problem...
Rase mcm nk merambu jeeee....
Kaannm....ok la mate dah mengecil...
Lepas mkn panadol...
Good night you olssssssss 😇😘😘💤💤💤

Wednesday, May 18, 2016


Bile bace semula my post bile masuk 2016.
Sume menyedihkan. macam mane nie?
Kekuatan hanya datang dari Engkau
Aku tiada bahu untuk di pinjam.
Hanya Engkau
Semua nya aku mengharap kan Engkau
Engkau yg selalu ad disisi
Engkau yg akan memberi ku semangat
Engkau yg akan mendatangkan ilham kepada ak
Engkau yg mengetahui rahsia hidup aku
Engkau yg memahami setiap yg terbuku dalam hati ini
Engkau yg menentukan segala yang terjadi
Engkau akan ku letak di tangga yg teratas
Ampunkan diri hamba ini yg sering melakukan kesilapan
Samada dalam sedar mahupun tidak
Engkau akan ku sandarkan bahu ini
Engkau akan ku luahkan segala yg terbuku
Engkau yg menyimpan segala yg tidak terluah
Engkau yg memberikan aku rezeki
Engkau yg memberiku kesenangan
Engkau sahaja yang boleh aku harapkan
Maafkan aku andai sahaja air mata ini payah utk mengalir
tapi aku harap Engkau tahu bahawa hati ini dambakan kasih sayang Mu
kerana kasih sayang Mu yg akan aku dapat tanpa berbelah bahagi
kasih sayang Mu akan ku letak di tempat yg teristimewa di hati ini
kasih sayang Mu begitu berharga
kasih sayang Mu tidak dapat dibandingkan dengan kasih sayang manusia
Kasih sayang Mu yang akan kekal sehingga ..... infinity
Kasih sayang Mu sangat suci
Ya Allah,
Aku buntu, Aku terkaku, aku terkedu, aku susah hati, aku buntu, sangat buntu.
Hanya nama Engkau yg mampu ku utarakan di setiap penulisan ku
Hanya nama Engkau yang terlintas pada ketika ini
Hanya nama Engkau yg membuat diriku terjaga
Berikan ak kekuatan.
Segala yang berlaku semuanya dari Engkau
perubahan itu memg payang utk aku gapai, tapi aku perlu lakukan
Semangat ya Allah, dengan asbab hidayah mu Ya Allah.
Hidayah Engkau sangat indah
temukan aku dengan Hidayah itu
tutur ape lagi ingin aku perkatakan
Engkau tahu jauh dilubuk hati aku..
Kerana hanya dengan Engkau aku tidak boleh berahsia..
Engkau tahu segalanya..
LailahaillaAllah, Muhammadur RasulAllah.

to ---> ME!

i'm trying to write something to myself

you've spent so many years looking forward to this phase of life. So, what do you think? What do you think gong to happen in this phase of life? married? ehm...have a fiancee or already have one child, baby perhaps? was beyond your imagination...

you think it always looked so cool. So glamorous. So filled with laughter and love.

Here you with some knowledge that it's anything about. 

It is messy buns and messier lives. It old clothes and overflowing laundry buckets. It's a lot of work that need to be done. I have the freedom but it is full of responsibilities. And life is no longer what is seemed. What do you expect?

Around me?
Different people are doing different things.

Your best friends are getting married. Some of them already have a or more child. Your old classmate is killing it with a success. Your ex is happy in love. While your other important ex have a busy successful life. Love? don't even want to update? Different people are doing different things. But not you. You're just existing. It's not that you are unemployed but it just you only existing to the people surrounding. You're getting through everyday a little better than the last. You're trying to make it better, more better...and more better. But then you have days where you can't get up at all.

You spend your Friday with some movie, drama and Korean variety show in a corner. You are to lazy to lose yourself to someone else's tune. But somehow it isn't enough. This life that you are living doesn't feel complete. Loneliness wraps around you like a blanket you love and you wonder where you went wrong. Why you become different to everyone else.

"Did i do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there a reason why it was never me? Is it going to be for the rest of my life? Alone? Unsuccessful? Filled with dreams that never come true?"

And you trying to reach you phone. Contact someone who might make you feel important. And you needs take over.

The need to fell accepted. To feel appreciated. To feel adored. To feel loved.

But it is so strong till you forget your sanity for a few minutes of flattery. You lessen your worth of dishonest words. The hurt in your heart camouflaged. If only for a few second. It hurt. Seriously.

You scream hateful words towards yourself. When will I ever learn? You want to go over the text message, the conversation. Luckily, you already delete some times ago. But you keep thinking when the thought flashing in your mind. Just a moment, you wish you weren't yourself.

And in that moment, read these words:
Breathe. It's not so bad. It can give you the experience of life. Yes, we all make mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But actually they do.
So, please don't hate yourself. And don't stop. Don't stop loving with all you have. Don't stop praying in every your salah. Don't stop dreaming of fairytales and being as amazing as Saidatina Aishah and Rabiatul Adawiyah. You might not always get there, but don't stop because you might be near to that. 

You have so much to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to read. You have drama or show to watch. You have al-Quran to HAFAZ. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. You haven't lived half you life yet. There's so much ahead. And in ten years, when you look back, you'll wish you were here again. So, be grateful. 

So, don't waste it wallowing in your own sadness. Don't lose yourself to your self-pity and non-existent boundaries. Use everyday. It's not that you need to spend a thousand dollars and visit North pole.
Do the simple things. Stop procrastinating. Take a walk with nature. Do some exercise. Gardening also can help. Read your favorite book. Watch a movie. Going for a walk in Shopping Mall. Write a diary. List your wishlist. Sketch until you're better than the best. Eat like you're dying tomorrow in healthy way. And most importantly, don't afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes can really make you learn something. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Today gonna be a past by tomorrow. Take chances everyday.


There is times to let your life revolve around someone else. But today, let it revolve around you. Not because you can't find someone. Not because you can't be loved.
because you deserve to wake up with a smile. You deserve to live life. To make memories unforgettable. In future, you gonna be the coolest grandparent they've ever known. 

Breathe. It's only your 26th.

You're going to be alright.

You're going to be an awesome person.

Appreciate yourself. Be grateful, Be thankful for the life creation that Allah gave you. Allah already have a plan for you. Allah knows everything. Keep remembering Him and be thankful to Him. So, He will remember you. Insyaallah.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Drama dan movie di MALAYSIA

lame x menulis rase nk merapu panjang2...sape yg terbace post sye nie...x suke...ignore it..haha

for the first time ever, there is a drama play in malaysia that contain some informative knowledge.... which is on Bells palsy...wlaupn lease they introduce that kind of disease to the public... xd la kate kene buatan orang la and so on...All thanks to #RinAhmad because she wrote novel with full of knowledge...most of hers..her writing are awesome..

actually, byk knowledge yang dikurangkan dlam drama Bimbo nie...xp, ak sarankan korang carik novel die...bak kate kak rin ahmad...die kate, diorg adaptasi novel Bimbo ke drama tp its not that exactly 100% same...tapi seriously, g la carik novel die..yg terbaru Jejaka Edisi Terhad aka JET...dulu ad GET..

hope akan datang,orang yang buat drama kt Malaysia niakan pikir jauh...Kaji dulu and choose some informative theme....Asik cintuunnn saje...mcm drama Married Tapi Benci tu..Oh My GOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!! eeuuuuu,...i don't know...something wrong somewhere bg aku drama tu....Apakah? x membina langsung untuk di tonton...Lagi satu, tundukkan playboy itu...saye tgk la jugk...sebb jatuh hati dengan hero...tpi drama tu pown agak x membina la...xd komen sgt...sebb itu adaptasi novel and sye x bace pon novel nye...ade org kate lain dr cube smpikan...sebb rakyat malaysia dh ramai yg suka menonton drama...dr segala peringkat umur...ape kate cube buat drama yg boleh deliver some knowledge kpd's not exactly like documentary...just introduce some different issue...

ni name nye penangan drama korea...ade je drama korea yg just love saje tp most of it mesti informative...nape kite x buat...buat la drama tntg islamic family...buat ade isi...macam filem munafik yg aku tgk...

perrggghhhh...memg "THUMBS UP" ak bg kt shamsul yusof...tip top! improve lagi...filem die leh g international...filem die boleh masuk Asia Film Festival yg selalu buat kt Jepun tu...betol x...?? memg tip top....informative kot dlm akan amek iktibar...bkn just tgk saje...pastu kate...uuuu....serrrraaaammmm....tgk pada pengisian movie tu...memg terbaik...keep it up Shamsul Yusof...

ok la...merapu dh makin lagi keluar bermacam drama and movie...

yg penting ape yg nk disampaikan di tv itu hendaklah yg memberi manfaat kepada, boleh improve society's life...

alright...Good Night..

Thursday, February 18, 2016

don't be a JUDGER

dh memlm nk tido nie sebb tgk drama ISTERI vs TUNANG and AKU PILIH KAMU...mate jadi bulat and terfikir nk menukil kan something..


lets make something clear...somhow org kite suke judge org on surface sedangkan die tak tau, yg die judge tu lebih kurang sme je konsep nye...cume subjek mungkin berlainan... I mean subjek tu perkara yg di judge la kn...

mcm ape yg ak terima ari nie..di FB...yes memg ak suke menonton cerita korea, I love, what's the problem? thats doesn't mean i should marry korean people...its about jodoh, if you meant to be, then, it is...Ketentuan Allah. It's not like ak mohon tiap2 mlm dpt org korea....xd la smpi mcm tue, ork melayu kite pown x kurg hebat nye...cume kene pandai la kn...your life time decision.

even i like their artist lebih2 lg yg digelar idol. but they are not my idol. I just love their song, kenapa? most of their song is about life...hard life la, love life la...xd la geli geleman mcm lagu omputih, lagu melayu pown ad je yg ak, i think xd mslh kt cnie...

lg satu pasal drama...

kenapa ak lebih tonton drama korea instead of drama melayu, ak tgk drama melayu sekrg pon sebb mostly adaptasi novel. itu pon still x leh sme, sebb novel byk pengisian. sometimes ad ilmu yg disampaikan. tp bile dijadikan drama, sesetgh ilmu tu tidak diketengahkan. x tau nape...mgkkn diorg takot drama x high rating kot. pastu lg satu sebb ak tgk, sebb pelakon. haha...nampak bias x...mcm syahrul ke, syukri yahya ke...ingt ak x knl ke artis malaysia...kenal la jgk tp xd la rse smpi kene amek tau...same too korean drama and also their actor...i threat same...


kenapa prefer more korean drama then malay drama
  • more knowledgable (ak suke kalu dpt tonton medical drama)
  • dramatic memg ad, dh nme die x haighlight kn sgt...kalu drama melayu...sometime, it's to much
  • ad kualiti, nmpk sgt diorg kaji kalu perkara tu berkaitan dgn law ke, medical ke, political ke...die x terhad pada view penonton sahaja. 
  • bile die sebut something yg term2 rumit nie...memg sush nk phm tp it's something new, we can learn right..? ak kadng2 kamus kt tepi tgk drama, subtitle English. term rumit. so, kamus la tempat rujukan..hehe
  • cintan cintun tu ade, tp jenis ikut culturer die la kn...kite? nape x ikut culturer kite..? kenapa nk too fantasy.

    kadang2 saye rase, drama skrg x perlu buat terlalu fantasy sgt, bahaya. Even budk2 pown kekdg tgk drama. jd nye, kurg kn lebih input byk yg knowledgable sgt puas hati..nie dh melalut jauh bebelan ku..

    berbalik asal topik td, ad ke patot kalu dh minat korea mesti berangan nk kawen ngn org korea. Berangan tu ade la to it's not necessary. ok, nk tny, zaman korg dulu mse tgh giler tgk Hindustan, smpi ad yg berhrp nk kamen dgn org Bangalore ke..?? xd, fantasy remain fantasy, entertainment also remain the function as entertainer xd nk diubah jd real. so, kene keluar dr fantasy and become real.

    itu lebih baik...

    please la

    don't judge people on surface. You must get to know her or him better.

    LOve berangan :)

Monday, February 15, 2016

D . I . R . I


tibe-tibe saje tangan nie nk menukil kan sesuatu berkenaan jodoh dalam Mr. Diary...
dh lame terpinggir Mr.Dairy nie... :)
ape pandangan kalian...let me story about me a bit...aku bukn lah org yg suke bersosial, mgkn sebab x diajar olah parent...kalu bersosial pown dengan org yg aku kenal atau pon it may have been a reason, study or team for some project..boleh la aku nk beramah mesra...x tau kenape, mgkn sebb impact yg si Dia bg tp si Dia nie xd pown ajak couple ke or janji kan ape2...pelik x aku nie...psycho...haha
nie dh tahap mengata diri sendiri...senget! XD
then, bile die  nie menghilang ak mula la meraban...okay, soal jodoh actually, ak serah soal jodoh nie dekat now, i think dh three times sume nye x menjadi...x tau la, ad suei kowt...haha...nk kate x suke, ad sorg one of anak kawan my father, aku agak berkenan dan terima la jugk tp x kn nk ckp terus terang...just wait and see....hehe....x pandai la nk amek hati ke nk ngorat just, my thinking should men do all of that? ke skeptikal..?? la di dalam arus moden nie bak kata ayat kamus dewan kan...bile mamat tu menyatakan ketidaksediaan die nk berumah tangga...i said it's okay, then, that's it. Full stop.
La ni,
lepas bace novel #jejakaedisiterhad karya #RINAHMAD byk bukk mate ak soal jodoh...yelah, jodoh x boleh dipaksa. Yg paling penting ak kene reminder is Jodoh adalah rahsia Allah. It's very secretive. Sangat. So, maybe I can just wait. Allah already has planned for me. Cume ak kene mencuba dari segi mengukuhkan diri dengan iman dan amal. Satu maslah ak kt sini, I am extrovert. I need someone yg boleh motivate me and no one around me like that. Living alone. Parent xd depan mata so everything kene berdikari dan usaha sendiri utk meningkat kn diri. Iman dan Amal sangat penting, kan? Betol x?

Deep thinking
i got this, 
I should improve myself, betolkan mana yg x betol. naik kan taraf mana yg dh dibuat. kira proses rebulid la. make it perfect. Soal jodoh, serah pada Allah, insyaallah. Just make sure, berbakti pada my parent. Agak la, almost more than 10 years i'm not living with my parents. My status? nOw? Single... Age? haha...baru 26. So, ko kene berbakti pada umi ngn buya wlupon kadang2 ad perkara yg buat ko mkn hati, then cry in silent. Always happen. I don't know how to express my feeling. Merajuk? not my thing...haha...SO, please make sure do your best! itu utk Akhirat ko jgk ain!
Hari kiamat ntah bile..seram jgk fikir. Soal jodoh. mcm nie je kesimpulan ak.

YA ALLAH, aku tahu Engkau maha mengetahui segala sesuatu. Perancangn Engkau sangat detail. Setiap ap yg Engkau plan pasti ade sebb nye. Y Allah, soal jodoh ak, Aku serahkan pada Mu. Sebb Engkau sahaja yg sentiasa disisi ak dan sentiasa menyimpan rahsia hati aku. Ya Allah, andai jodohku bkn didunia, Engkau temukan kami di..x tau nk sebut kt mane T_T Ya Allah, ampunkan dosaku. Satu je aku mintak ya Allah, andai jodohku bkn di dunia, Engkau bahagia kn mak ayah aku dengan perkara yg boleh membuatkan mereka lupe yg mrk kene kawen kn anak perempuan sulung mereka. Aku takut umi susah hati. Umi suka fikir yg bukn2. Aku x nk. Aku tahu umi mengharap. Ya Allah, Engkau jauhkan perasaan sebegitu dr umi. Ya Allah, Engkau sahaja yg memberi rahmat. Aku tahu buya sayang nk tinggalkan Jeddah sebb die rase die dh dekt dengan tempat suci Engkau Ya Allah. Kadang2 ak rase serba salah nk suruh buya ngn umi balik duk Malaysia. Diorg pasti rindu sane. Permudahkan urusan mereka. Ya Allah, kuatkan iman dan taqwa ku. Tunjukan ak petunjuk dan hidayah Mu. Setiap kali fikir soal jodoh pasti hati ni sebak, air mata pasti berjuarai. Sesak. Sesak dengan pandangan org, Sesak tgk kebahagiaan org lain, ad anak dan suami di samping. Oleh itu, Ya Allah, ampunkan ak sekiranye pemikiran aku ini salah. Aku mula berfikir, kenape ak nk kesah ak bahagia atau pon x kt dunia nie. Nk mengadu, Allah ade. Nk cerita ak happy ke, sedih ke, stress ke, Allah kn ade. Bicara shaja. Dia pasti mendengar. Kebahagiaan di'sana' pasti kekal. Lebih baik ak harapkan kebahagiaan yg di'sana'. Insyaallah. Ya Allah untuk kesekian kali nye. Kuatkan iman ku, teguhkan taqwa ku, berilah aku pentunjuk dan hidayah Mu, ampuni dosa2 ku.
Ya allah, salurkan kekuatan yg tidak berbelah bg dlm hati ini untuk menghadapi apa shj cabaran dan dugaan kerana hati ini terlalu rapuh tetapi tidak kutunjukkan pada luaran.

Terima kasih Ya Allah kerana masih diberi nafas dan kehidupan pada hari ini. Semoga hari esok lebih baik dr hari ini.

Kesimpulan nya, siapa jodohku? serah kan pada perancangan Allah. yakin lah dan percaya bahawa Allah itu maha mengetahui segala sesuatu. Setiap yg berlaku pasti ade hikmah dan natijah yg terselit di lipatan. Hanya kite sebagai manusia yg lemah ini, samada mampu mengesan nya atau pon tidak. 

Love myself from ME

Lets fight for bless of Allah.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Junsu Death Note

Have you heard about it???

Super awesome...x sangke, Korean production have been thinking on doing Death Note on Musical Stage...

mesti awesome....


x dpt tgk...

here some trademark that L keep doing in Death Note...and i think Junsu can imitate well what L did

**credit picture to the owner...i'm not own it, just a fans

quite charming right..?? heheh

lepas ak post pasal Syarul Ridzuan ak post pasal Junsu....nmpk x betapa xd keje nye ak nie...hahahahahhahahaha...